The entire nation has been awaiting the ‘Trump tapes’ and we at Directorate have been provided an exclusive transcript from an anonymous source in the White House. This source and the transcripts provided paint a picture far worse than even the most skeptical insiders and beltway pundits predict.
Below is a partial transcript (edited for clarity) of one half hour of tape recorded in the Oval Office some time in April of this year.
President Trump (Trump):
[spoken into intercom] “Reince who are all these gentlemen lounging in my office?”
Reince Priebus (Reince):
“There is no one scheduled right now. Is there anyone there?”
“Never mind. I’ll ask them.”
“Okay?” [intercom clicks off]
Trump: “So who are all of you, you look like you are dressed for a period ball?”
George Washington (George):
“Mr. President, I am George Washington and I was the first President of these United States. The rest of these gentlemen you should be familiar with. Sitting on the left couch are Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin. On the right couch are seated John Adams, Andrew Jackson and Richard Nixon. That tall gentleman on the chair is Abraham Lincoln.
Trump: “Wow. You guys are really authentic looking. What group are you with and why are you here?”
George: “We are the Founding Fathers of this nation and some of us are former Presidents. Sir, we are real and we have visited you today to give you some encouragement and advice.”
Trump: “This is great, really great. Did Bannon put you up to this? This has Bannon written all over it.”
George: “Look at me closely sir. You will see my teeth are dentures made of ivory and metal. I am really George Washington and these men are really who they look like.”
Trump: “Well, I’ll be. Those really are old dentures from the 18th century – and gross looking. Nixon, is that really you?”
Nixon: “Yes. It’s a been awhile. But I haven’t been gone that long. You’re in one hell of a predicament Don, the media hates you more than I hated them. And that’s one hell of a lot of hate! They want to impeach you far worse than they ever wanted to impeach me.”
Trump: “But why? I give them interviews, more access than any other President ever did? I am making their networks millions upon millions of dollars in revenues, yet they still lie nonstop. “
Thomas Jefferson: “Allow me to answer that question. You are trying to restore the rule of law to government. This agenda is in total opposition to those who have turned our beloved Capitol into a place of unbridled larceny and corruption. There is not a single person in Congress at this time who supports your agenda fully. The Washington and this Congress of 2017 is an abomination.”
Trump: “So what should I do? I have to deal with these parasites every day.”
Thomas Jefferson: “The most fortunate of us, in our journey through life, frequently meet with calamities and misfortunes which may greatly afflict us; and, to fortify our minds against the attacks of these calamities and misfortunes, should be one of the principal studies and endeavours of our lives.”
Trump: “Understood, but my mind is fortified. I need a plan of action to counter this corruption.”
“Perhaps I can be of some assistance in this regard. I’ve lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing Proofs I see of this Truth — That God governs in the Affairs of Men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his Notice, is it probable that an Empire can rise without his Aid? We have been assured, Sir, in the Sacred Writings, that except the Lord build the House they labor in vain who build it. I firmly believe this, — and I also believe that without his concurring Aid, we shall succeed in this political Building no better than the Builders of Babel. Let me add, that only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters. “
Trump: “So you are saying I should be tougher on these corrupt ones? Let Sessions go after them and that I need to seek God’s guidance?”
“Do you know you are the only President to put my picture in this office? Take a page from my administration and experience. It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their own selfish purposes. As you encounter these corrupt ones, take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in!”
Alexander Hamilton: “It is the advertiser who provides the paper for the subscriber. It is not to be disputed, that the publisher of a newspaper in this country, without a very exhaustive advertising support, would receive less reward for his labor than the humblest mechanic.”
Trump: “So you are saying I should go after the advertisers? The ones who fund all the fake news? But there are so many of them, the list would be pages long.”
Alexander Hamilton: “The instrument by which government must act are either the authority of the laws or force. If the first be destroyed, the last must be substituted.”
Trump: “I can’t trust almost anyone. They all have their own agendas and so few really care about the welfare of this nation or others. All they care about is themselves and they all pull at me to water down the Make America Great Again agenda. No one here wants to build the wall – well, except for Ann Coulter and millions of non-politicians who voted for me. No one in congress wants to do jack. They don’t even want to repeal Obamacare now that some insurance companies are being bailed out and own their votes. It’s worse than negotiating a deal with the Chinese.
John Adams: “When legislature is corrupted, the people are undone. Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts and murders itself. There was never a democracy that did not commit suicide. Perchance you should give Ann Coulter something different to ‘tweet‘ about and use your Executive authority to build a portion of the wall – a wall already mandated by existing law. ”
Trump: “Easier said than done. Almost everyone here tells me this sort of action would create rebellion. How do I convince these politicians not to commit suicide? How can I wake up that spark in them that really cares about the people of this nation? Is it impossible? Are they truly evil and beyond reach?”
Abraham Lincoln: “To correct the evils, great and small, which spring from want of sympathy and from positive enmity among strangers, as nations or as individuals, is one of the highest functions of civilization.”
Trump: “But look at what happened to you! You saved the Union and paid the ultimate price. While I definitely want to Make America Great Again, I could just as easily be playing golf at Mar-A-Lago. Did you ever play golf, Abe? It‘s very relaxing.”
Abraham Lincoln: “No, I’m afraid that pastime bloomed only after my time on Earth expired. I suspect I would be a natural, though. Look at these long arms.”
Trump: “Well let’s go and find out! I’ve got some time.” [into intercom] “Reince organize a quick flight to Mar-A-Lago. We’re going to see if Lincoln can golf!”
Reince: “Sir? Lincoln?”
Trump: “Oh, c’mon in to the Oval Office. You’ll see what I’m talking about.”
George: “Mr. President, only you can see us, sir. To all others this will appear as an empty room, save yourself.”
Trump: “What? But you’re here, real – gross dentures and all!
[sounds of a door opening and President Trumps Chief of Staff entering]
Reince: “Mr. President. So what is this about Lincoln and golf? “
Trump: “Never mind. I‘m going to be issuing some more Executive Orders. Get the legal team in here.”
Apparently, Trump’s mental state is more precarious than anyone imagined and our anonymous source says there are many hours of Trump tapes that expose this instability,patriotic delusions and rambling about the common good. All the different voices on the tape allegedly are made by Trump, although we do not have a copy to verify this with 100% certainty. However we have 100% confidence in our anonymous White House source and the legitimacy of the transcripts provided.
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